It is guest post Friday! Each Friday we encourage you to submit a post for the ryaneller.com blog. This week’s post comes from Dr. Bea Keller-Dupree, a Licensed Professional Counselor, a college professor, and the Founder of Enrichment Counseling & Consulting. You can learn more about Enrichment Counseling & Consulting here. If you would like to submit a guest post, click here.
We have all heard the age-old adage that “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” or “when one door closes, another one opens.” In fact, I might contend that we have all heard these attempts at supportive feedback so much that the person who is standing with lemons in hand or whose door has not just closed but has slammed, frustratingly rolls their eyes and sighs “I know, I know.”
But what if the deeper message within those messages is that for all people all the time, hardships happen. On any given day, in any given moment, life can be riddled with adversities that are not only not preventable, but the mere unpredictability of the issue leaves us questioning “Why me?”
Moving forward in the face of unforeseen hardships hinges on our ability to foster the gratitude attitude. Put another way, any person can be happy when life is going well. But can that same person find resolve—and better yet, gratitude—when life is challenging?
As with anything, improving our ability to find gratitude in our lives begins with basic steps.
First—Challenge yourself to find one gratitude each day. The gratitude can be obvious (“I am grateful to be alive”) or it can be a bit more intimate or personal to your life situation (“I am grateful I didn’t lose my cool when my daughter told me X”).
Second—Invite others to have the gratitude attitude with you. Align supports in your life who will actively participate in this daily challenge. Say, “I am starting a daily challenge where I identify one gratitude each day. I want you to be an accountability partner who will not only hear my gratitudes, but who will participate in finding their own.” Each day, share your gratitudes with your supports!
Third—Write your gratitude down. This “logging of gratitudes” can be quite simple—just a one line statement of the gratitude of the day. “I feel grateful that I have colleagues who bring me joy, even on days when I don’t necessarily want to go to work.”
Fourth—Consider how this experience will equip you with new life skills. When struggles happen and you question “why me”, follow that question with other growth-promoting questions that are grounded in the gratitude attitude. “How will this experience help me grow as a person?” “How will this experience help me connect with others and their hardships in the future?”
Life can be challenging—in fact, it will be challenging. And, those challenges can leave us feeling wounded and prompt us to doubt ourselves and abilities. Gratitude is not about denying that “bad situations” happen (i.e., we are handed lemons), but gratitude does allow us to see our strengths and the gifts that are around us even in the face of hardships (i.e., making lemonade).
The bottom line is that within each struggle, we are also afforded the opportunity to grow within ourselves and within our relationship to others. And that opportunity, I feel grateful for!
Question: What steps do you take to handle live’s challenges? You can leave a comment posting below.